TRADITION: What is a wedding?

A wedding is anything you want it to be!

According to the characters from CSI: Crime Scene Investigation's Kurosawa-esque-ish episode, Rashomama -

GREG: (referring to the reason for eating at a diner)
...It's a tradition.

SARAH: Ah, tradition, like becoming property exchange between your father and your husband.

NICK: That's not what a wedding is.  It's a public declaration of love.

GREG: i'm with Vince Vaughn on this one.  Dozens of single horny women, with access to an open bar and coupling on the mind...

WAITRESS: Weddings are a Rorschach.  Everybody sees what they want to see.  My first five were good!

However you see your wedding, have your ceremony, your way.  For more information, please contact A NON-DENOMINATIONAL CEREMONY - A modern, inclusive officiant for the ceremony tradition.

i am a Certified Life-Cycle Celebrant®, secular minister and civil officiator in Los Angeles and Orange County.  Creating and performing unique, custom-written, bespoke, one of a kind ceremonies and rituals for weddings, engagement, betrothal, commitment, vow renewal, animal or pet, rite of passage, funeral, memorial, celebration of life, baby naming or baby welcoming, new child or adoption, divorce, new job, business, downsizing, new home or any public, private or civic occasion to mark and honour a transition, anniversary, graduation, retirement, ending, change or other milestone.  ALSO: reverend, jp or justice of the peace.

ELEMENTS: Acknowledge Family/Friends or Honour Deceased in Your Ceremony

i saw the following on POSTSECRET.COM this week:

Frank,
My father, who I was very close to, passed away when I was 21 very suddenly and unexpectedly. 2 years later I met the man of my dreams and could not imagine getting married without my dad there.

To this day, whenever anyone asks me who walked me down the aisle the true and honest answer is: "My dad did".

Maybe someone else out there will find this to be a small comfort during the sadness of not having their dad.

My father passed away when i was fourteen, so not only do i empathise with this writer, i understand how important and meaningful it is, to acknowledge loved ones. Those unable to attend a (wedding) ceremony may still be made present! And, this can be done without bringing the mood down, taking the focus away from the celebration, or implying an afterlife. Consider these suggestions:

• Use of a short verbal passage or introduction - to be read by the officiant or other participant.
• Creating a symbol of the honoured person - through jewelry [see above], flower, dove release, candle lighting, balloon, ringing of a bell, etc.
• Moment of silence - before proceeding with the main body of the ceremony, encourage a simple bowing of heads so believers may offer a prayer and non-believers can stop for a moment of reflection.